Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
