whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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