who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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