I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
