Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
