do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
