it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
