suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize