we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
