I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
