I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
