I wanna passion pit in your ass
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
