I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
