Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
