champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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