i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
