Whod you bang
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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