Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do vagina's smell?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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