Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
