i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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