i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
