You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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