Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
