At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't deserve a penis
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
