That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.