New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I got inside last night via doggy door
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize