I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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