Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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