Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize