Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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