You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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