so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
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so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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