Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
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All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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