Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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