I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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