He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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