he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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