you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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