I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
