Will you blow on my dice?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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