question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
