I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
