i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
