walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
