I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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