If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
