Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
