You can't special order awesome
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
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