As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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