I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My balls are so social today.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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