oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize