I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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