im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
