do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
