Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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