i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
please come you make the beer taste better
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
