I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
