Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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