She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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