Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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