It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
