I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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