1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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